Archive for the ‘ Life ’ Category

Great Expectations

Most every Friday at 4pm, you can find me at my desk (at work), smiling.  It’s my favorite time of the week.  My weekend hasn’t quite started yet, so I haven’t lost any of that precious non-work time, and work is winding down.  We begin our countdown to 5pm.  The people here representing the younger generations are planning outings to see movies, go dancing, and do anything else they can think to do in a smallish Texas town.  Those older employees that surround me aren’t as vocal about their weekend plans, but grandkids and camping are popular commitments. Those in my generation, the very beginning of Gen X, don’t talk much about their weekends either.  To be honest, I think we’re just ready for a break.   My ideal weekend would include great movie rentals, awesome take-out, and non-stop blogging.  Do you sense a theme here?  I’m a homebody!  I will take a quiet weekend at home over shopping and restaurants any day.  This quirk in my personality annoys my husband.  He’s the very opposite of a homebody.  He wants to go out, see friends, go to concerts, see more friends, go, go, go.  In this personality difference, we struggle.  And when it comes to our weekends we both usually have expectations…differing expectations.

While my good-looking younger hubby is the very definition of a social butterfly, my Friday nights usually look like this;

  1. Rush home
  2. Get my bra off and get into pj’s or some other stretchy clothing item
  3. Turn on my big screen television in my bedroom
  4. Grab my laptop
  5. Get into bed
  6. Call Domino’s

Somewhere in the between tossing my bra into the hamper and heading to the television, it hits me.  WE ARE OUT OF EVERYTHING!  EVERYTHING!  Coke Zero, chocolate, milk!  Everything! So, here’s how my peaceful homebody Friday nights usually turn out.

After grabbing my laptop and popping in a video, watched solely by my husband, I;

  1. Type up my grocery shopping list for Saturday
  2. Hyperventilate over the humongous pile of dirty laundry
  3. Obsess over planning to pay the bills (note; I’m obsessing over the planning of paying the bills, not just obsessing over paying them)
  4. Proceed to frown and rush towards the need for Botox
  5. Realize my weekends stink.

Tonight (Friday), my husband put his foot down and demanded a night on the town.  He saved me from my predictable Friday evening behavior.  The sweet man let me choose the restaurant AND took me to a chick flick!  What a great guy!  We enjoyed our Italian food then we watched The Bounty Hunter!  Of course, watching Jennifer Aniston for two hours does make me regret eating the bread sticks.  It was a good night!

Get Out of My Head!

Jammies.  Check!  Fluffy pillows.  Check!  I am HOME!  My waist is very thankful that I’m wearing stretchy pj’s instead of the too-tight jeans I wore today.  Exhaling, unrestrained, is wonderful.

So, yes, I am back from church.  My bad attitude is gone, thanks to two leaders who allow God to work through them on Wednesday evenings.  Their lesson was “on the money.”  They “read my mail.”  Ok for those of you that don’t attend church regularly, this does not mean that the lesson was on money or that they were rummaging through my mailbox.  Tonight, in a room full of teenage girls (I volunteer in our church’s youth group), the message was for me.  Wow.  It amazes me that I will deal with something so strongly all day long, telling NO one about it, and then me and my attitude are put on notice.  I’m so glad that I went.  Still, it’s freaky for someone who knows nothing about your situation is led to speak exactly what you need to hear.

I do wish that their message had dealt with all of the junk crowding my life. I guess you can only do so much in a forty-five minute lesson.  At this point, the voices in my head are yelling at a steady loud volume and I’m having trouble focusing on anything.  They (the voices) are angry and so am I. But first, I’m not crazy.  I’m not schizophrenic.  I’m writing about the normal self-talk that we all engage in from time to time.  I’m just having trouble turning it off now.  But I am angry.  Pissed off.  Stomp my foot on the ground and pound my fist on the desk mad.  Why am I so upset?  What is causing me to contemplate packing up our belongings and move to Alaska?  One word.  Family.  Actually, two words with a hyphen would be better; extended-family.  My husband, son, and mom, those that dwell in my house are just wonderful.  My father-in-law is just a doll.  But there are others that make me want to run away and hide, with my husband, son and mom (and father-in-law).  It SUCKS.  That word, SUCKS, is not a very lady-like word, but I am using it appropriately at this time!

I know I’m being vague.  I asked my son, “Son, who did  you tell about my blog?”

Eyes squinting and looking off into space, he replied “Ummm, I’m not sure.”

Lovely.  So, extended family members who have really ticked me off, who have gone out of your way to be hurtful to my family, you KNOW who you ARE.   If you’re reading this, I would stop immediately and go read someone else’s blog.  You know who you are.  You know what you’ve said and done.  Most of all God knows.  Period.

I’ve watched family dynamics keep sisters apart for years.  And when they finally were “brought back together,” it was over the phone, mainly, and rarely.  The relationship was never the same.  Pride comes before the fall.

Wednesdays!

Hello world!  Or hello eight people who viewed my blog today, for when you stop back by!  This is a quick hello.  I’m heading off to Wednesday night church, bad attitude and all.  This is honesty, folks.  BAD ATTITUDE!  I have one!  I want to go put my jammies on and kick back with a good book.  But this attitude needs church!  This attitude needs Jesus!

I’ve worked as if my performance review was next week; you know, super long days.  Combine that with Daylight Savings Time and you have one tired looking 42-year-old.  I look 42 today, unlike every other day.  As a matter of fact someone (a male) at work told me that I looked “ehspecially (emphasis on the “eh”) tarred” today.  I guess he meant I looked tired.  Love the accent here.  I really do.

I’m hoping to get some time to write about a very cool book that I’m reading, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Soon.  God Bless!

Hello world!

I do not take compliments well.  Particularly when I’ve recently been told something that, in my mind, cancels out that compliment.  Honestly, I didn’t know what to say when one of our younger friends said to me, “Wow, you don’t look 42!”  What a great compliment you might think, right?  Well, temptation was tickling my tongue and I did all I could to hold it still.  My mind works on a completely different level, racing with sarcastic responses, “What, do I look older?  Or do I just look  41, 40?”  I think it’s the bitter 42 year old coming out in me!  Haha!

My super sweet young friend meant it as a sincere compliment, so I forced my mouth to form the words, “Well, thanks!”  And swiftly walked away before I could “one up” even my trash-talking teen.  This poor woman didn’t have a chance.  She could have told me that I radiated beauty and I would have been suspicious.   It wasn’t what she said, how she said it, or who she is.  It was all me, me and my bad day.  You see, I made a mistake.  I got my hair cut.  I’m usually one of those keep-your-hair-the-same-forever-and-ever type of people.  But I took a chance with a great stylist!  I had it cut into a modified bob, lopping at least 4 inches off my coif, and I did it several days before Mrs. Obama showed up with her new bob, so no, I wasn’t copying her.  It’s really cute.  The color, simply wonderful.   I loved it!  My husband said it was adorable.  My stylist is the bomb!  And then I received a little more feedback; according to several other people, my new style was entirely “age appropriate.”  One person even said this with a sigh, as if he was a bit relieved that I finally had hair to match my age.  Ugh.  Seriously?  I’m the 42-year-old woman who has read the Twilight Series three times.  Age appropriate was not what I was going for!  So, I’m on a mission to grow it back out and try to pretend that I’m younger than my 42 years.  Go on, say it, I know what you are thinking.  I care too much about what others think.  And YOU BETCHA! DING DING DING!  WE HAVE A WINNER! I have other, bigger flaws to deal with before I begin to fix that one!  So, yes, I care!  Age appropriate! When a woman has reached that critical age of 40-something, the age appropriate tag is a bit much to swallow.   So what do I do to get this hair to grow fast?

I have another reason to be concerned about my age.  I robbed the cradle.  Ok, I’m not Demi Moore, but he’s 2 years younger than I am technically and probably 10 years younger than I am in hip-ness.  Seriously.  He’s a musician who’s still cute and losing weight because all he does is choke down protein all day long, eschewing even the idea of carbohydrates.  I try to tell him that he should let loose every once in a while.  Have a little rice, a little bread…mashed potatoes?  I’m not trying to make him fail, just slow him down!  He’s hip, cute, thinning (in a good way–he still has all of his hair!) and musically inclined.  I can NOT keep up with this man.  The only person who does not recognize my husband’s coolness is our 16-year-old son.  Thank goodness someone appreciates the mom with the age appropriate hairstyle!

So here I sit, drinking my Crystal Light Peach Tea (and no, I don’t have any sponsors, so that’s what I’m really drinking), trying to get this first post done before my young, hip husband and my 16-year-old get home.  They know I’m blogging, but I hate people looking over my shoulder as I type.  The weather is absolutely beautiful where I live in East Texas.  It’s about 65 degrees with a light breeze and sunny.  This part of Texas usually has nine months of summer, one month of fall, six weeks of winter (usually a rather pathetic 40 degree average winter), and two weeks of spring.  I’m not kidding.  This year has been rather unusual.  This winter lasted longer than any winter I’ve experienced in East Texas and it was cold!  We even had ten inches of snow!  I’ve included a picture of our snowman, Mr. Global Warming, below.  Now, it looks like we may get a whole month or more of spring!  Break out the Zyrtec!  I love the Texas wildflowers that bloom everywhere, but my eyes, skin, and nose do not.  I will medicate them into submission.

I’m trying to decide what I really want to do with this blog.  I mean, why do people BLOG?  I haven’t really figured it out.  So this will be a bit of a journey for me.  I’m not exactly the self-absorbed type, so while I will be writing about me, I won’t enjoy it!  HA!  I think I’ll tell you a little about my life, my family, my friends, my work (that’s going to be tricky, so maybe I won’t tell you about work), and the things we enjoy. Thanks for reading…